You know that absolute gut-punch feeling of “I should’ve learned this lesson by now”? Maybe you consistently fall for emotionally unavailable people despite knowing how that goes, or still take every professional rejection personally even when you’ve learned it isn’t really about you. I know I certainly can get down on myself when I’m not showing up to situations as my most *evolved* self (especially now that I’m writing publicly about mindset topics on the internet — like, who am I to write any of this if I don’t execute it perfectly myself?)
Thankfully, I recently I got a helpful reframe on this from an unexpected source. I’ll give you a hint: an iconic green bird who’s gone viral on TikTok multiple times over.
The Duolingo owl?? Wtf does a language-learning app mascot have to do with doing better when we know better?
Patience, grasshopper. I’ll tell ya.
First, I’ll start by saying I’m not a Duolingo user. I’ve never once used it. But I feel I have an introductory education to the app by sheer proximity — my partner and best friend are both using it to learn French, and I’ll often be hanging with one of them later at night when they realize they haven’t done their practice session for the day, and have to pause everything to do a quick lesson so they don’t lose their impressive streaks.
I’ll be honest — I’m impressed by the cult-following Duolingo has generated by creating incentives for daily practice. I think it’s because they know repetition is a key ingredient for learning. If we are seeking to be fluent, the more regularly we can make the new language a part of our lives, the better it will sink in and become part of our language center.
I wager that the same applies to the “language” of life lessons we’re learning. It doesn’t make us bad or wrong that we repeat old patterns — we just haven’t become fluent in new ones yet. As humans, we need to hear the same thing repeated SO MANY TIMES before we can assimilate it to the point where it becomes second-nature. So that begs the question: if we’d like to metabolize these life lessons, how can we make them easy daily practices?
To be honest, I’ve never been a lover of spoken or written affirmations, but this line of thinking makes a good case for them and I may have to reconsider. After all, the sheer repetition of an idea we know to be true on the surface, like “I am divinely creative” or “I am deserving of love,” might help it sink into our as-yet-unconvinced subconscious mind faster.
A daily practice I’ve been incorporating to keep my values top-of-mind through repetition is a “4 C’s” journal before bed. (It works out for me that all my core values start with C, but your acronym may look different!) I write out four columns: CURIOSITY, CONNECTION, COURAGE, and CONTRIBUTION, and under each category, write down anything from my day that qualifies. Anything I’m curious about, moments of connection, little acts of courage, and any contributions I made to the world/others that day. You can certainly use these words as a framework to get started, but I think it will be even more powerful if you substitute your own unique values & goals for how you want to show up in life.
I love this because it’s quick to execute and a daily reminder to walk the walk. I don’t perfectly check off every C every day, but it’s a great way to check in with myself — and through the power of repetition, I’m able to start subconsciously creating moments of value throughout my day that I’ll get to jot down later.
So before you get down in the dumps that a lesson you thought you’d learned hasn’t stuck, remember that you’re only human. To know something consciously is not the same as having subconsciously assimilated it. If ya wanna become truly fluent in the matter, it might take a little more repetition than that.
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things (this week)
This is where I’m gonna be sharing assorted cool shit. It’s also a place for me to put you onto some of the coolest people I have the pleasure to know, pay it forward, and give folks their flowers. You can always scroll to this part if you’re a TL;DR type of person. I won’t judge.
Jammin’ On:
Not to be dramatic but I got very sick the end of this week and wrote this blog in a feverish haze. It’s giving “sickly Victorian-era child” but not in a cute “oh that’s my type” way. So writing the main body of the blog basically took it all out of me. As for these recs? Just take my frickin’ word for it.
Jonah @ Roundabout
Go see Jonah. Just do it. One of the best-constructed plays I’ve ever seen with some brilliant performances. This one will stay with me for a while. If you’re a young person, they offer $30 under 30 tix. (Check CWs online before you go!)
The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer
If you, like most theatre folk, heard the shot heard round the world (a.k.a. the news that Sara Bareilles is officially working on a 2nd musical — with legend Sarah Ruhl! It’s like they plucked this project straight out of my dreams!) this is the perfect time for you to grab a copy of the book they’re adapting for the stage. It’s one of my favorite books ever and something I always recommend when people ask for book recs.
Crafting Connections
This is where I’m gonna leave you with a big ol’ question. Something to ponder, have a moment with your journal over, or to connect about with me & other creatives in the comments. To not only (hopefully) connect to one another, but to connect the dots between the seemingly unrelated, and connect to yourself in ways you may not have considered yet!
Identify a problem that’s currently holding you back, or a lesson you seem to be learning over and over again.
How might you remind yourself of this lesson daily and increase your “reps” with it? Could you turn it into a dedicated practice? What would that look like?
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts & musings! Also feel free to brag about your Duolingo streak below 👇
xx
Kat
If you’re ready to create more intentional practices as a performer, I can help with that ⬇️
Resources & Ways to Work Together:
🔬 Courageous Creatives Lab - Your calm in the storm of pursuing an acting career, and a holistic approach to acting coaching that fosters community, provides accountability, and encourages risk-taking and experimentation 🧪
✍🏻 The Aligned Actor 2024 Workbook - A free Notion workbook chock full o’ journaling prompts & thought exercises to get you honed in on your career desires for the upcoming year, and clear on what actions to take to bring that vision to life! If you liked the flavor of this week’s blog, you’ll dig this — but prepare to, as we like to say in the biz, get specific.
✨Audition With Intention✨ Notion Pack - The streamlined, customizable digital home for your acting career that cultivates a space for mindful metrics, regular reflection, and goal setting so you can chart your own course in the theatre industry.
Coming soon…
⚔️ Side Quests - Move forward on your creative projects by giving yourself the gift of time to explore them from new angles. Side Quests are free weekly Zoom meetings to fall down research rabbit holes, pull unexpected threads, and share your findings in community — you never know what might inspire a new direction!