Over-thinking is in desperate need of a rebrand.
Over-thinking gets a bad rap, and honestly I’m sick. of. it. We’ve all heard such gems as “Get out of your head!” or “Stop overthinking it,” at one time or another. Maybe you yourself have been described as an over-thinker. I’m here to tell you 1) I feel you and 2) I think that’s a gross over-simplification that is framed all wrong and doesn’t address the real problem!!
Because guess what? Telling someone to stop doing something they were already doing reflexively rarely works. In fact, if you wanna get all reverse-psychology about it, telling someone to stop doing something usually only makes them think about doing it more. In the case of overthinking, being told to stop typically sets off a downward spiral of—you guessed it—more thoughts.
So what’s the solution? Overthinking and rumination are real problems we face. However, the problem associated with over-thinking doesn’t lie in the act of thinking itself. When we “over” think, it is identified as such because the thoughts are preventing us from taking action. The actual issue is the lack of action. And when trying to fix an issue, it is infinitely more helpful to identify and name the root problem than to blame the symptom.
For this reason, I would like to put my foot down and say, NO MORE! I’m rebranding over-thinking as under-acting.
Lack of action is the core issue, so we should name it as such. When we make this shift, the solution becomes clear: act. Instead of demonizing your brain for doing what it was created to do, take the reins and take action when you find your thoughts swirling. Any action will do — it doesn’t have to be the “right” one, it just has to create the momentum to move us into an active posture and away from thinking ourselves into a rut.
I take similar umbrage when things or people are described as “too much.” That comment rarely offers an active path forward and only serves to make people shrink themselves. What those phrases are really saying is “be less fill-in-the-blank.” Turning the dial down on a behavior without having an alternative action to perform in its stead is a real mind fuck. On the other, more helpful hand, when you’re given another option for how to behave, you know how to proceed. In the wise words of Brené Brown: “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.” Calling someone too much is unclear (not to mention, sorta flat-out unkind).
If positive or active language were used instead, people on the receiving end of those comments might better know what to actually do with them. For example, “you’re too loud” translates to “be quieter,” which is, of course, subjective. “Please whisper” is a much clearer directive (and one that Equity monitors and librarians everywhere may benefit from adding to their lexicons).
There’s still room for interpretation within active language, but significantly less wiggle room. If you’re on one providing feedback or instruction, that means you’re much more likely to achieve the desired result in the other party the first time around using active language.
Long story short, for my fellow over-thinkers and “too much” folks: while it may take the world some time to catch on, you can start by untangling these terms for yourself and remembering that the cure for over-thinking is action. Messy, messy action. The quickest way out of your head is into your body, so get moving and get doing, even if you don’t do it perfectly. In fact, I encourage you to practice being imperfect — it’s infinitely better than practicing inaction 😘
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things (this week)
This is where I’m gonna be sharing assorted cool shit. It’s also a place for me to put you onto some of the coolest people I have the pleasure to know, pay it forward, and give folks their flowers. You can always scroll to this part if you’re a TL;DR type of person. I won’t judge.
Jammin’ On:
Okay, okay, so my recommendations this week are very theatre-kid, but so what! I am what I am! (See what I did there 😉)
🎭 The B’way play with humor and heart that had me enthralled every minute
The timing of this blog couldn’t be worse, but I would be remiss not to mention the favorite thing I experienced this week. I had the pleasure of attending Jaja’s African Hair Braiding at the Samuel J. Friedman theatre on Broadway this Wednesday, catching it in it’s closing week. BUT, BUT, BUT! It’s not too late, friends! If you can’t snag a ticket for tonight or tomorrow in-person, Jaja’s is streaming their closing week performances so you can watch from your couch.
Don’t miss this vibrant celebration of Black women in their community, their conflicts, their struggles, their abundant joy. There are delicious performances from the whole cast (including the sparkling Kalyne Coleman, who was the Rosaline to my Princess of France SEVEN YEARS AGO?!? Time is wild) and I haven’t laughed so hard, smiled so big, or felt the air sucked out of my lungs in this way in a Broadway theatre in a long time. This piece is one that will stay with me for a while.
🎧 The new cast album I have on repeat (is anyone surprised)
In news that won’t surprise anyone who knows me, the new cast album of Merrily We Roll Along dropping was my equivalent of Taylor announcing the Eras Tour. Which is to say, I was foaming at the mouth. And it did not disappoint!
Merrily has always been one of my favorite Sondheim’s, and the OBC and 2012 revival (my first Merrily, feat. baby Lin!) albums will always have a soft spot in my heart, but this new cast album is another wonderful addition. Crisp, clean, and punchy, with stellar vocal performances from the trio that has captivated hearts with their on- and off-stage chemistry, who could ask for anything more? Also the horn section is giving. This album is likely to overtake some others for a top spot in my Spotify Wrapped even at the tail end of the year.
📖 The anthology I return to again and again
My last theatre-adjacent rec this week is food for all creatives, not just my theatre homies (although I would say the same for both of my above recs, too 👀). 100 Essays I Don’t Have Time To Write: On Umbrellas and Sword Fights, Parades and Dogs, Fire Alarms, Children, and Theater by Sarah Ruhl is a collection of bite-sized essays on, as you might be able to glean from the title, a broad range of topics. Each is as sharp and impactful as Ruhl’s plays and feels interconnected through her voice and keen eye for observing the world and making meaning from it.
With this book, Ruhl answers the one of my favorite creative questions: “How much can you distill your ideas while still holding water?” The short-form pieces could easily read as musings and rambles, but they each feel full to the brim with food for thought — something to chew on and digest. This book, much like The Creative Habit by Twyla Tharp or Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon (ooh, bonus recs!), is one I often take off my shelf when I’m feeling creatively stuck & in need of a shake up. I’ll flip to a random essay and sit with it to see if anything comes up or connects to my work. It follows that one of my favorite playwrights would also write one of my favorite books of insightful essays. Thank you, Sarah!
Crafting Connections
This is where I’m gonna leave you with a big ol’ question. Something to ponder, have a moment with your journal over, or to connect about with me & other creatives in the comments. To not only (hopefully) connect to one another, but to connect the dots between the seemingly unrelated, and connect to yourself in ways you may not have considered yet!
What is an easy action you can take whenever you catch yourself starting to over-think that will create forward momentum?
Can you go for a walk? Set a timer and journal those thoughts for 10 minutes to get them all out on the page? Write your to-do list and do a 25-minute sprint on the first item?
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts & musings! Also feel free to share any common phrases you think need a rebrand below 👇
xx
Kat