You’ve Got Possibilities
Or: The Power of “If”
Hello, beautiful creatives. This week, I’ve been noodling on the power of possibility, and how to stay open to the “what ifs,” especially in moments when you feel powerless. (Cuz sometimes it’s haaaaaard out here!)
Having a sense of ownership over our lives and careers is one of the trickiest tightropes we walk as creative freelancers (particularly for my fellow actors), when the reality is that so much of our livelihoods and ability to make art depends on a “yes” from someone else. Waiting for a “yes” can feel disempowering when we know what we have to offer but aren’t being given the chance to stretch our wings.
Stepping into and claiming our autonomy as artists is one of the hardest things to do, but it’s the only thing that can keep us sane. It’s imperative to develop the ability as a creative to parse out what is in your control vs. what is in the hands of others. (Pro tip: the happiest artists find things they can do that are within their sphere of control to keep them fulfilled and sharpen their skills while waiting on that “yes”. For me it’s writing TCC every week.) In slow seasons or when doubt creeps in, we can control two things: our actions and our mindset.
Now, a lot has been made of manifesting, and if that’s your jam I am not here to yuck your yum. Keep doing what works for you! But hear me out, folks: I believe the most powerful thing you can do as a creative to guard yourself against the inevitable emotional hurdles that come with pursuing life as an artist is to cultivate a mindset of curiosity. When shit feels uncertain, as it often does, and my mindset feels like one of the only variables I can control, curiosity offers the best prescription lens to view life as it comes and keep my eyes open to possibility.
Many people prefer to use active language: not if, but when. “When I achieve x, I’ll y.” I do think there’s something to be said for using active language when the situation falls under the in-our-control category (i.e. when I run my first 5K.) But our brains are hardwired with pretty good bullshit detectors. We can tell when we’re lying to ourselves. If you don’t believe with every fibre of your being that you will eventually do something that is ultimately decided by someone else (i.e. book Broadway), that inner lie detector may pop up and make it difficult to manifest your desired outcome — because deep down you know some opportunities are determined by the volatile cocktail of preparation and luck. We can’t spiritually bypass the shitty feeling of our dreams not being entirely in our control. You can only try to keep your side of the street clean.
The beauty of curiosity is it doesn’t demand I feel any differently than how I currently do (no toxic positivity here!), it simply opens doors to peek at different perspectives. If you’re doubting your worth or your path, curiosity isn’t here to tell you that how you’re feeling is inherently wrong. Curiosity gently asks you to entertain new ideas — try a new perspective on for size and see how it fits. Can you believe differently? Are there possibilities you hadn’t considered?
Take pre-audition jitters for example (or make your fake scenario a job interview or any new opportunity you’re feeling imposter syndrome over). Your internal monologue is a cacophony of I’m too young, too tall, too loud, too *fill in the blank*. Maybe some envy or comparison is even creeping in and you’re in your head about that because you know you want to live in an abundance mindset, dammit! Can you entertain the possibility, even for a moment, that you are exactly who they’re looking for? What if you are the solution to their problem? What if it works out? What if?
Following that line of questioning usually breaks me out of a funk, because my logic-loving brain knows that statistically, there is always a chance for the unexpected or amazing to occur. Rather than further scolding yourself for falling into negative self-talk or a closed-off perspective (which is, uh, part of being human), see if you can lovingly question yourself. Get curious. Could the opposite of your current belief also be true? What if I actually have talent and vision and something unique to offer the world? Live in the feeling of that “if” in your body. It may feel new, scary, or uncomfortable, but that gray space always typically feels better to me than whatever emotional black hole I was digging myself into.
Rather than trying to bypass your humanity by adopting shiny new positive beliefs without doing the necessary internal work, what would it feel like to simply make a habit of questioning yourself? Experiment and see. Or as the kids these days say, “fuck around and find out.”
These Are a Few of My Favorite Things (this week)
This is where I’m gonna be sharing assorted cool shit. It’s also a place for me to put you onto some of the coolest people I have the pleasure to know, pay it forward, and give folks their flowers. You can always scroll to this part if you’re a TL;DR type of person. I won’t judge.
🍆 The final season of one of the best TV shows ever written
If the emoji didn’t already tip you off, I’m talking about Season 4 of Sex Education on Netflix. It is a rare, rare thing for me these days to ever sit down and watch more than one episode of TV at a time, but I devoured the first two episodes of the final season of this show back-to-back because I missed these characters and the writing that much. If you aren’t already on the bandwagon, now’s your chance to watch all four seasons.
This show is brimming with hilarity and heart and so much about what it means to be human. Sex Education features so much representation for marginalized communities done right without it ever feeling like lip service — the diversity of the cast and stories told is integral to the world the show has built (one that actually reflects modern society—imagine that!) I truly can’t say enough good things. And if those factors weren’t enough to get you into it, it also features Gillian Anderson at her MILF-y best!
☎️ My favorite new way to expand my music tastes
Move over, Discover Weekly (jk, I love you forever), there’s a new, more social way to listen to some fresh tunes. My week has been entirely made by starting a game of Playlist Telephone with some pals of mine (shoutout to my friend Nick for the idea).
Essentially, it’s a game of association. Get a group of folks with good taste in music (I really lucked out in that department) and create a new playlist*. The rules are thus: Once you add a song, you send the playlist to someone else from your participating squad as an individual text. They then add a song — any song that the previous song makes you think of. The association can be based on sound, artist, title, album cover, anything. Then send it on to the next person to add a song, and so on and so forth.
This reminds me of the Mix playlists Spotify now offers, but with a more social slant and the ability to include multiple people. I dearly needed to shake up what I was listening to, and the broken-telephone nature means in only a few days of doing this there’s already been a wide array of genres and new jams to sink my teeth into.
*We’re using Spotify but I imagine this would work for Apple Music as well!
🎷 The pre-save release I’ve been jazzed about all week
Speaking of Spotify…by the time this is published, you’ll all be able to stream the new single “Glitch” by Murphy that I’ve been waiting for all week! For lovers of Lake Street Dive, Allen Stone, and anything queer and existential (which, if you’re anything like me, pretty much checks all your boxes), this one’s gonna be a must-listen. I’ve been on the Murphy train for years, and seeing her enter into a whole new artistic era is delicious to behold.
Her jazzy vocals and honest lyrics are the perfect combo, and the snippets of her writing process she posts to TikTok (@murphy_music) are such a font of inspiration. What are you waiting for — go follow along and stream the hot n’ funky new single, already!
Crafting Connections
This is where I’m gonna leave you with a big ol’ question. Something to ponder, have a moment with your journal over, or to connect about with me & other creatives in the comments. To not only (hopefully) connect to one another, but to connect the dots between the seemingly unrelated, and connect to yourself in ways you may not have considered yet!
Where are you feeling stuck right now? Identify a current problem or a belief that’s holding you back.
Now, grab a pen & paper, set a timer for 90 seconds, and write down 10 possible solutions and/or other beliefs. No excuses, I want 10! Permission to be ridiculous: granted.
All done? Okay, proud of you! Now I bet there are 2 or 3 items on your list legit enough to play with. Get curious about your new possibilities for getting unstuck.
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts & musings! Also feel free to share what you’re stuck on or items from your Possibility List below 👇
xx
Kat